Looking Back

God has been reminding me where I've come from. Where He's brought me from. It's only been a few short years, but it feels like a lifetime ago... Almost as if I'm remembering a novel I once read.

I remember standing on a bridge, at the edge of the unknown, wondering - what if I didn't turn around? Could I just keep walking forever? Could I just walk right out of my painful life? Would anyone notice, or, more to the point, would they care? I must have stood there 30 minutes, trying to imagine what might happen if I could muster the courage to just walk away.

In time, I turned back and with a shattered heart, returned, broken, to the familiar. What I couldn't see that day was that it wouldn't be long before the day came when God would reach down and change my life.

I imagined walking away to live homeless and alone on the streets of Arlington. God sent me a plane ticket to Hawaii. I'm amazed when I think of how much better His plans are than mine - how generous His love is.

I love Him back with everything I am, and hope that I never forget that day I stood looking over the bridge, wondering if God cared.

Looking back at myself from the other side, I can promise you this: He cares more than you can dream of.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

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